The ‘Atta Girl File
I sat at the table across from him, nervous about what he would say. Everything up until this point had been theoretical tests and written papers. He would be the first person to give me feedback on my performance in the classroom. Does he think I have what it takes to be a teacher? Sitting at that table, I had no idea that what this man would tell me would not only influence Graduate School grades or what I would do next with my 8th grade Science class, but it would be something I would still remember many years later.
He first gave me some truly well-crafted feedback, telling me all the things that went well and giving me specifics on what I did that was good. This strategy paved the way for me to then easily hear the areas where I could improve. As we discussed his suggestions, I also commiserated a bit about how hard teaching was and confessed that it usually goes more poorly than that. "The kids are not usually that well behaved," I admitted, "I don’t know what got into them today."
He told me that this was something that he would see during his observations only when the students really respected the teacher. "I could tell they wanted you to do well," he told me with a smile. "You earned that not because of anything you did today, but because of how you’ve treated them before today. When you have the days that are bad, and you feel like they don’t respect you, remember today. Remember that they do. File it away in your ‘atta girl file.”
He proceeded to tell me that in life, especially as a teacher, there will be plenty of days when you feel like a failure. When the parents complain, no one appreciates you, and you feel like you’re not doing anything right. Those moments tend to dominate anything good that may exist. That’s why you need to build yourself a means of remembering the stuff that you did do right. A place where you keep all the things that remind you that you’ve got this. It may be a positive note from someone. A good review from your manager. Or something you write down describing a really good day. Keep it and take it out when you need that reminder.
It’s been 13 years since that day in grad school and I still remember the ‘atta girl file. I’m thinking of it today because I get to add something else to it. This Sunday is my 53rd Sunday Starter, which means I have kept up with this writing routine and commitment for an entire year. I don’t know what next year will look like, and there’s plenty of days when I feel like I’m in over my head with writing this book, but this is something to celebrate. This will go in my file.
Take a few moments today to think about what’s in your file. Maybe it has to do with your job - the time you crushed that presentation or got some praise from a colleague. Or maybe it’s a good parenting moment amidst all the ones when you feel you fall short, there are the moments with your kids when you think yes, I did that well. Let those moments come to you this morning. Really think on them. Let them fill you and bring a smile to your face. If you can, start making a file for yourself, whatever that may look like. That way the next time you need a reminder you can take it out, take a deep breath, and remember that you’ve got this.
