A Plan to do Nothing…

Photo by Amanda Vick on Unsplash

I recently got a text from someone who asked me to do something that night. Technically, I was available. Technically, I could have said yes. But I texted the person back and said that I couldn’t because I had plans. I didn’t really have plans, I just didn’t feel like texting out a whole explanation about how I needed a night to myself. Saying I had plans though, it felt like a lie, and I started to feel guilty. Then I quickly reminded myself that a plan to do nothing is still a plan. Say that with me:

A plan to do nothing, is still a plan.

I didn't say no because I was avoiding them, I truly had planned to stay home and do nothing that night. I needed to do nothing that night. After a very full week at work and lots of social engagements the weekends prior, I was desperate for some time alone. Those closest to me know that when my social battery depletes, I am not the same person. Therefore, if I want to be my best self when I'm out there in the world, then I need to not only make plans with the world, but I need to make plans to recover from the world.

If we say yes to everything that comes our way, then it becomes very difficult to reach the goals we set for ourselves and prioritize the people that are most important to us. This is true for everyone, but the trick is that it also looks different for everyone. We all need to recover, and we all need different amounts and different types of recovery; this makes it easy to judge someone else when their recovery looks different than yours.

The next time someone says no to you, try not to take it personally. Don’t ask for an explanation, just let them create the boundaries they need for themselves. And the next time someone asks you to do something on your much deserved night off, remember that plans to do nothing are still plans. You don’t owe them a lengthy explanation and you don’t need to feel guilty about it, but you do owe it to yourself to keep your plans to do nothing.