Don’t Defer
What happens to a dream deferred?Does it dry uplike a raisin in the sun?Or fester like a sore—And then run?Does it stink like rotten meat?Or crust and sugar over—like a syrupy sweet?Maybe it just sagslike a heavy load.Or does it explode?—Langston Hughes, “Harlem”
In the far back of our minds lives a place where dreams go to die. Little comments: it would be so expensive. Harmless thoughts: I don’t have time for that right now. Engrained concepts: I’m not built to do that. Systemic constraints: the world won’t let me do that. These are the words that start to build our box, and one by one all the things we were created to do end up there. Like a dark attic or a long-forgotten storage unit, your box has been sitting there in the back of your mind collecting dust. Think about that box for a minute. What’s written on it? Do you have more than one?
When I think about you and your dream deferred, it makes me wish I knew you so I could buy you a cup of coffee, sit across the table, and listen to all the things you hope to do with your life. I want to hear about the things you think you might be capable of but are too afraid to say out loud. I want to talk about the reasons you think you’ve never tried and the people or circumstances that may have held you back. I want to listen and then I want to shout from the rooftops, yes you can!
What you just read is the beginning of the Introduction of my soon-to-be-released book, The Impossible Box: How to get your dreams out of storage. This book was my dream deferred for nearly 15 years. Then one New Years, January 1, 2021, I made a resolution to finish the first draft by August. I had already been working on it a while but it was the spirit of the New Year, the promise of hope and positive change, that helped me finally muster the courage to set a deadline. What's funny, is that I failed to complete my resolution. I did not finish the first draft at all that year, yet here I am, exactly two years later, about to publish the book. Why?
Resolutions are not about finishing, they are about starting.
This time of year so many people set goals for things they hope to accomplish - dreams they no longer want to defer. And so many people, will do nothing. They won't try for anything at all because they say new years resolutions don't work, so why bother? My dream felt impossible for many years and so like so many people around the world today, I did nothing. I let the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown stop me. Don't let it stop you.
This New Year's if there is something in your Impossible Box you have been dreaming of doing, it's time to take it out. Set that resolution, just reframe how you do it. Create space to fail and try again. Maybe 2023 won't be the year you make it to the mountaintop, but it will be the year you start climbing. Maybe you will look back on this day and remember it as the day you finally took your dreams out of storage.
For some practical tips on resolution setting, check out this old post: Why Your New Years Resolutions Fail.
