Remember this…
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When you get frustrated sitting in traffic to see your family…When you roll your eyes at something a loved one said…When you are annoyed at the crowded shopping mall getting your last minute gifts for the people in your life…When those things happen, remember this…
Remember there are families all over the world wishing more than anything they could have just one more year doing all those things.
Remember that many people are sitting around the table with an empty seat that will never be filled.
Remember that our time with the people we love may end sooner than we think, so let the small stuff go and just be with the people in your life. Love them. Cherish them. Enjoy their presence while you have it.
I wrote that last year, inspired by a sudden wave of grief that hit me when Here (For Christmas) came on my playlist. This year with the recent scare with my father, I’m reminded anew of how unimportant most things are. The things in life that make us angry and set us off, at least for me 95% of the time they are for things that don't really matter. In the big story of our lives they are insignificant and yet we let them take ownership of the experience we're having; one thing doesn't go our way and our mood shifts, poisoning everything to follow. We focus on the bad and miss out on the good.
I've spoken with a lot of friends over the last several weeks about the Holidays and the unnecessary stress that comes with unreasonable expectations. The good desire to spend time with loved ones gets warped into a mandate to stick to holiday traditions. A long to-do list emerges and if everyone in the family doesn’t check off all the boxes then grudges are formed, guilt trips run rampant, and the whole reason you wanted to get together in the first place is lost. Being together becomes a chore, instead of the joy it should be.
This week I hope we can let things like that go. I hope we can recognize good things before we point out the bad things. I hope we can take a deep breath and remind ourselves it doesn't matter - my story is bigger than this moment. I hope we can ignore the rude comment, and find something good to say. I hope we love more than we hate. I hope we can enter every house, every room, every moment as if it might be the last Christmas we get with the people there. I hope we choose to let it go, choose to smile, and choose to love. I hope that if this is the last Christmas, we can look back on it and know that we soaked up every moment we had.
