Untitled

I came to the café today to work on my book, but when I sat down I felt so heavy with thought. Thoughts that weren't about my book. Thoughts about life and the more I tried to push them aside, the less focused I was. So instead of trying to push them away, I opened up a blank page, called it Untitled, and just started writing.

I wrote whatever thought came into my head. Like really, whatever thought. No backspacing. No erasing. Just writing. I wrote incomplete sentences. At times it seemed like there were more dot dot dots on the page than actual words. But the words that did come out were the ones that needed to come. They were the ones weighing me down, the ones that might not make sense or be well thought out but they needed out.

A lot of what I write about is going after goals and dreams and being your best self. But sometimes we need to be a little messy before we can get it together. 

So much of our life requires us to be in a good headspace. If we want to have good conversations, be there for our friends and family, and make good decisions in our work - then we need to find time when it's okay to be jumbled up. We don't always need to be articulate, or have it together, or make sense. Sometimes you need to not make any sense before you can figure out the sense you are trying to make. Make sense?

When was the last time you sat down and wrote? Were you 14 and was it your diary? If that's the case then maybe you need to start a new one. Or maybe it'll look different than writing and that's okay too.

Years ago, back when Bluetooth ear pieces were a big thing, I used to stick my Bluetooth in my ear on the commute home and just pray out loud. (The Bluetooth was so no one would think I was crazy talking to myself because this was before your phone could go through your car speakers). Through that process I realized that there's something about saying it out loud, or writing it down, that feels different then just working through thought or praying silently. It's like your thoughts are just thoughts until you let them out of your head. Once they're out they become words and I think words are a lot easier to sort through than thoughts.

So if you find yourself being weighed down, maybe it's time to start an Untitled Journal or find that place where you can talk out loud: before you try to make sense of your life and dreams, let out a little nonsense first.