Eavesdropping
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Andrew and I are currently out to dinner and we just overheard a guy at the bar telling a hilarious story. Immediately we both stopped talking to try and listen, chuckling because even though we were sitting in silence right now, we knew we’d be super entertained chatting about it on the ride home. It reminds me of one anniversary in Niagara Falls, where we spent the entire dinner in silence because a group of four women beside us hadn’t seen each other in years. As they caught up on all the good times, the bad times, and the drama, their conversations kept us on the edge of our seats. The whole walk back to our hotel we chatted about everything we heard, not making fun or criticizing, but rather enjoying the stories of someone else’s life.
When you spend a lot of time with someone and have ample opportunities throughout the day to converse, you don't feel the need to fill every moment. Sometimes its nice just to sit in silence. Other times it’s nice to listen in on the stories around you which can inspire new topics of conversation to be had later. So as I sit here, still at dinner, I am fine ignoring Andrew while I type out my thoughts on my phone. I thought the topic of eavesdropping would be a good Sunday Starter because there are also times when eavesdropping isn't so fun; those times when someone across the room judges you when they know nothing about you.
Flashback to a sermon years ago where a pastor was talking about how he saw a couple at a restaurant sitting in silence. He used this as a story about how sad it was that people didn’t talk to each other anymore. He was across the room from a couple he had never met, never spoken to, and made a snap judgement of their life. Making himself and his son the heroes, the story ended with them giving the couple a paper football, which I guess in his mind saved the day because now they were playing? I'm not sure if it was the way he told it, but I remember being bothered by the story. Who was he to judge someone else's silence? Who was he to judge someone else at all?
I'm sure that's happening right now as Andrew sits across from me, in silence, making it appear to others like something is wrong when in fact the exact opposite it true. He waits patiently because he knows this is my writing process; when inspiration strikes, I need to get my thoughts down before I forget. He knows this about me and knows it leaves me energized and happy; this is the truth that only the two of us know but others looking on would not be privy to. I imagine what they could be saying about us right now:
They aren't talking at all, they must be in a fight…
People spend too much time on social media…
These generations don't know how to talk to each other anymore…
I don’t know if that’s actually happening right now, but I know that in the past I've been just as harsh when wrongly judging others. But we shouldn't assume we know someone's story because we've eavesdropped on one moment of their lives. The term eavesdrop itself literally refers to the eave of a house, meaning someone that is standing outside someone's home listening in. So whether it's positive eavesdropping - wow, did you hear what they said?! That vacation sounded so cool - or negative eavesdropping - that woman has been on her phone for the past 10 minutes - lets all remember that we are outside the home and so we will never have all the information to properly judge, nor is it our place to.
So smile when the eavesdropping is fun, because we're human and it'll happen, but never forget that even a fun story is never the whole story of someone's life.
