Positive Feedback
Last month, I gave my first virtual training session. Of course, I've taught and trained for over 10 years, and I've been in virtual environments before - but this was my first time training on this particular technology with these particular topics. By the end of the week, I thought I had done pretty good considering it was my first swing. There was definitely room for improvement, I took note of things I would change and work on, but all in all I was feeling good about how it went. Until I got an email…
On the third and final day, with two sessions left to go, I received an email from the point of contact. It was professional and generally kind, but it was loaded with feedback of the constructive nature. Some of it I wasn't surprised by and even agreed with. But there were other comments that were clearly the opinion of a few vocal employees. Some of it even contradicted itself: First I was going through the material too slowly, then I was going too fast. At the end of the email, she even said that she was just trying to give everyone what they needed.
The funny thing is, it's impossible to do that when you have a room (whether virtual or real) filled with people of varying skill sets and needs. The perfect speed for half the room will be too fast for 25% and too slow for 25%. The endless sub-topics that can be covered couldn't possibly be relevant when the jobs vary and the work-styles are endless. In situations like these, it is nearly impossible to satisfy the entire room. I say nearly impossible because it is a little easier in person. When you can walk the room, sense body language and see facial expressions, it's easier to pick up when someone isn't getting something and when someone's bored. This allows me as the instructor to pivot when needed, group students together so they can help each other, and give challenges for the ones that are past the others. In person, this is difficult to do but a skilled instructor at least has a shot at it. Virtually on the other hand…. It is impossible. When cameras are turned off the fate of the class rests in the hands of the Chat, and if no one gives me feedback I have no idea how we're doing.
Flash forward to that evening. I read the email, felt bad about myself, vented irrationally (wine anyone?) and then went out to dinner. The food was average, but what stood out was our waiter. He was friendly, kind, funny, and extremely attentive. I am allergic to dairy and so it's particularly difficult when I eat at restaurants. Sometimes I'm not sure if the waiter understands my needs and more often than not they don't, and I get sick. You can imagine then how great it was when my meal was delivered, my allergy repeated back to me, and assurance that there was no cross contamination. The manager even checked in to make sure everything came out okay. He was one of the best waiters I ever had.
When we got our receipt and we were paying, I noticed that there was a survey at the bottom of it. This is something I'm sure you've seen before, they have it at a lot of businesses, but I personally have never filled one out. As I looked at that survey number, I realized that this is what makes feedback so difficult sometimes. It's because we always speak up when something is wrong, but we rarely speak up when it's right. We'll go out of our way to tell a manager if we had a bad experience, or to tell someone all the things we didn't like and how they can improve, but we rarely ever go out of our way to let someone know that they did a great job.
That night I decided to change that. I took out my phone and took the 10 minutes of my time to make sure Outback Steakhouses knew about their exceptional waiter. From that night on I have been trying to do my best to let managers know when one of their employees has done a great job. When I think it's earned, I now give positive feedback every chance I get.
Working with people, I'm going to continue to get emails with impossible expectations. It's the nature of the job, and I’m used to it. In my previous employment, it was the same way. Every week someone was complaining about something and it took me a good year to grow a thick skin and not let it bother me. Furthermore, it took a good year after that to be able to develop the discernment to know when to listen to feedback and when to say "thank you" and move on. Just because someone has an opinion doesn't mean it's something we should listen to.
We can't change when we get negative feedback or when people complain, but we can be the type of person that will at least make someone else's day by letting them know how great they are. I'm not saying we should be sunshine and roses all day long, we need to give constructive criticism when it's needed. We need to be real with the people closest to us and help them improve but let's just make sure it's not the only thing we're doing.
When you go out into the world today, if someone does something good, tell them. When you tell them, be specific. It is a failure on society's part to think that the only way we can help someone improve is by telling them what not to do when actually telling them when they've doing something right and encouraging them in that will have far greater results.
