Be Brave
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We are taught that being brave means facing our fear. A brave person will step up and do something they don’t want to do; they push through the scary and get to the other side. We learn this young and carry it into adulthood.
This is true. Being brave is being afraid of something and doing it anyway. The thing is, sometimes we’re not honest with what we’re afraid of. Sometimes we do things and call it brave when really it’s not bravery but peer pressure, social pressure, or some personal pressure we’ve put on ourselves. In those cases our good intentioned definition of bravery ultimately teaches us to ignore our instincts, but what if listening to our instincts is the brave thing to do?
I recently read somewhere about a father telling their child that it’s brave to go on a rollercoaster, and it’s also brave to say you don’t want to go on a roller coaster.
This week it took every ounce of bravery in me to say I didn’t want to ride the roller coaster. Okay, so it wasn’t a roller coaster, it was my personal trainer at the gym and for months I kept with it even though I knew I should stop. My schedule had changed, it wasn’t helping me reach my goals, and while the trainer was great and I enjoyed the time while I was there, it was something I knew I had to say no to. Saying no can be hard because we are trained to believe that a no equates giving up; we are wrongly taught that strong people say yes and persevere while weak people throw in the towel.
In many situations though, it takes less courage to say yes. When money is being taken out of your account without any effort and any change means having an uncomfortable conversation then the brave thing might actually be quitting.
It’s brave to do something hard. It’s also brave to say no to something hard.
The next time you try to encourage yourself or someone else to be brave, remember that bravery will look different to different people. Let’s try not to force other people to meet our bravery expectations, and let’s be honest with ourselves about what brave actually is for us.
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