You’re walking down the sidewalk on a very hot sunny New Jersey day. This was the only time for you to get a workout and so you went, but you can feel the sweat dripping down your face. As you walk down the path, you see a large branch blocking the way. It’s big enough that you can’t step over it but small enough that you could move it aside for future pedestrians. My question for today is, would you move it?

When I went to post my Sunday Starter for this week, which was on an entirely different topic, I remembered that in the USA it was the week of Thanksgiving. Since I was feeling particularly thankful for all the amazing things this year has brought me, I decided to delay my other post a week so I could write about it. Before I began, I wanted to see what I had already written on the topic; with this week's post being #195 (cannot believe it's been that many!) I went to my website and used the search to make it easier. I searched for words like Thankful, Grateful, and Gratitude which surfaced many posts, but nothing I found was fully themed around the topic. Great! I thought, I'll write about Thankfulness and Gratitude. My mind was focused on my new business and how great everything had been going. So many things to be thankful for. Before I start though, let me see if anything comes up for Thanksgiving…. The first search result was last year's Thanksgiving post, Won't you be my neighbor? When I re-read it, I immediately started crying.

In SCRUM project management methodology, there is something known as the Definition of Done (DOD). The purpose is to align the entire team and the stakeholders with their vision of success. Without the DOD it is all too easy for one person to think they have reached the end, when others think there is still work to be done. When you have budgets, timelines, and resources to work with, this can have drastic impacts to a project. Defining done makes it clear what success looks like. In our lives we might not always have a specific goal or project that ever reaches a done state, but we do have expectations for ourselves on what success looks like. Recently, I realized that my definition had been drastically off.

When it hurts to talk, you start to choose your words more carefully; when every utterance is a strain, you start to realize how many words aren’t worth saying at all. Instead, you start to listen more, think more, and save your comments for when it really matters. I think every human should have laryngitis at least once a year, so they get that very important reminder: just because you had the thought, doesn’t mean it’s worth saying….

I wrote those words several weeks ago when I was sick with laryngitis, but I’ve been thinking about them a lot this week. I’m not sure what your hopes were for this election, but I will be honest…

The first week of March 2020 I got on a plane to fly to Houston, Texas. COVID-19 must have just been starting to become a concern because I remember I questioned whether or not I should shake the client's hand when I arrived. I finished that engagement and flew home, not realizing that it would be the last time I would travel for work for the next 4.5 years.

I dislike the word management. As a change management specialist, it is built into my title and yet I dislike it very much. I even more so dislike it when its referring to managing people. If you look at the dictionary definition of management, you'll understand why: management is the process of dealing with or controlling things or people. I don't know about you, but I don't like the idea of someone viewing their role as needing to deal with or control me. It immediately puts a negative connotation on the idea; someone or something is broken, and they need to fix it. The way to thrive on a team or in an organization is to remove this idea that you need to deal with your people and replace it with enable your people.

Recently I started running on a track again. While I usually prefer the twists and turns of winding aimlessly through the streets of my town, the soft rubber surface of the flat track was a nice change of pace. I had intended just to finish up my three-mile run but as I finished mile three, I decided to run some intervals. Intervals are when you run a chosen distance at an increased pace, and then slow down for a chosen distance at a decreased pace. Then you do it again. And again. And again...

Many of us involved in this AI wave find ourselves using the phrase “it’s not the magic bullet.” This is because the expectations of stakeholders who invest in bringing AI tools to their organizations find themselves disappointed with the current capabilities. In my experience the products themselves, while they are new and filled with room for improvement, are still rather remarkable. The disappointment doesn’t come from the product but in the expectation of the product. People wanted a magic bullet, and they didn’t get it.

Today is the first day in a while that I am sitting down to write. It's been almost two months of being my own boss and yet all the time I thought I would now have has quickly gone to other things; even with a more flexible schedule the task of writing is one that still remains difficult for me to start. I used to think it was that I didn't have enough hours in the day but now I can clearly see that time is not the problem but rather instant gratification...

Have you ever paid of a lot of money for a fancy dinner and then been disappointed in the outcome? The steak was good, but was it $50 good? If we never have to eat there again then we'll feel a little annoyed that we wasted our money, but we'll move on; we learn from the bad experience and eat some place different next time. But what about decisions that last longer than a meal?

I’ve been at the airport for a few hours now, stuck at Newark because of a storm. With my headphones on and lightning streaking across the sky, I have found the most perfect flow; that moment when you become so fixed on what you’re doing that everything around you fades away, a feeling of bliss descends, and you know you could do what you’re doing forever...

A few years ago, Andrew and I were at a wine tasting near Niagara Falls. We walked into the small winery and over to the counter to sample what they had. The first wine was poured; Andrew took a sip, noting the flavors that stood out to him. I then took the same glass from him and had a sip. I also noted those flavors but then picked up on something different...

Sometimes, as humans, we are irrational; we don’t always know why we’re upset. When those moments happen it’s hard to articulate what we need because we don’t know. Sometimes, there’s nothing that caused it, which means there’s no amount of rational discussion that can fix it. This summer I had a day like that...

A while back, I went to a two-day conference to develop my public speaking skills. One of the owners and leaders of the event, Michael Port, wrote a book called The Referable Speaker. In the book he gives guidance to people like me who have gotten to a place in their career where...

I'm not feeling inspired…  I said these words to Andrew in the United lounge of Newark Airport. A busy airport with lots of frustrated people waiting around from delayed flights was - surprise, surprise - not exactly a fertile environment where I am primed for success...

I firmly believe that communication is the foundation of anything profoundly good or bad. Are you feeling wonderful and heard? Good communication has occurred. Are you feeling terrible and ignored? It's likely because you are left with too many questions and only your own anxiety-filled-imagined-answers. Communication is at the core of every relationship we have and yet the typical person has very little understanding of what makes good communication good.

Someone this week told me I was brave for starting my own business. It is true, it is brave to take a risk like this. Looking from the outside in it probably looks very risky to walk away from a steady job. What most people don’t see though is that you can be brave and take risks, while still being smart about it.  The first big risk I ever took was when I was 22 years old, and I decided to move to Ecuador…

As I watched Simone Biles make history as the first woman’s gymnast to win two Olympic all-around titles in non-consecutive games, I could not help but think about how courageous she was for taking a pause on her career. In a time when she was the best in the world, she put her mental health over expectations of others. She hit pause because she needed to and look what happened. She not only came back to reach the level she was at prior to the pause but she excelled beyond it, making history.

This morning, I woke up feeling very relaxed. I went through my usual routine - bathroom, brush teeth, make coffee - and somewhere in there I took out my phone and noticed it was Sunday. I had been enjoying my vacation so much I completely forgot what day it was. In the 174 weekends I have been sending out this email, this is the first that I was so blissfully distracted I completely forgot about it.

I remember many conversations from my 20s centered around what my wedding would look like. At that age, I went along with the expectations: I would have a big wedding, 10 or so bridesmaids, and lots of flowers. But when it was my turn to have my special day, I found myself making decisions I didn’t expect. I didn’t want a big bridal party, just my sister and my best friend. I didn’t want a big limo or lots of flowers, instead we used the money on Skee Ball, drove ourselves home, and skipped the after party.